My Mask Is Growing Heavy, But I've Forgotten Who's Beneath

What the hell is it about you that just refuses to let go of me? It's like you're fucking suffocating me, but want nothing to do with me.


I don't know how to handle this. You won't let me fix it. You won't let me change this for the better. And as much as I'm losing hope, I know that I'll never let myself give up. But for once, that's not a good thing.

"There's someone inside me 

that softly kills everyone around
They don't know they're dead to me,

cause intent never makes a sound"

Maybe you were right. I always end up destroying every relationship with a human being I ever have. This isn't the first time. It most like won't be the last. 

But right now, it's the worst.

I see you look at me with your arms draped around her shoulders, and I can't even read your expression. Taunting me, or regretting letting me go? Stop fucking looking into my eyes and still trying to pretend I don't exist.

"You're sick, sick as all the

Secrets that you deny
Sins like skeletons are so very hard to hide"

They all say to just get over you. And it's not like I'm not trying. But god, when someone takes that much of you and holds it over your head, it's impossible to walk away. I'll never be whole again. 

"There's an art in seclusion. Production in depression
if a stranger turns up missing, this song is my confession
Tell the tales of the trail of dead, lovers learn from slower hands
Losing self in myself, inner demons make demands"

I'm going INSANE.